fix the stairs.
May 1, 2008
(Or, why this picture has nothing to do with stairs, and everything to do with stairs.)
The second habit of Stephen Covey’s “The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People” is:
Begin with the end in mind.
Seems like a wise thing, and simple enough, right? You’d think so, but then life gets in the way. Planning. Planning. Planning. Procrastination. Twitter. Email. Meetings. TPS Reports. Sometimes the path to your goal is hell. Or sometimes, if you work for someone else, you’re not working for a leader, but a manager.
Let me tell you a short story today, a story about stairs.
A couple of months ago, while sitting in my hypercube, I heard an unusual sound – like a pile of arms and legs falling down the stairs. I went to see what had happened, just in time to see a pile of arms and legs unfolding into a young lady. She said that the top stair was loose, and she had twisted her ankle on the way down. I offered her my hand.
(Luckily, she gave it back. Typing with one hand is really hard. Keep your minds out of the gutter…)
The logical thing to do would have been to fix the stairs that day.
Logically.
You know, logic. Mr. Spock.
(Not Dr. Spock. Even though he might have been logical.)
Of course, that did not happen.
(Spock! Help me, Spock!)
A report was filed into the “new and improved” electronic reporting system.
Which would have generated another report.
Which was reviewed the next Monday by the review board. Which generated another report.
Two weeks later.
As I was returning from lunch, I saw a gaggle of managers (not leaders) standing around the top of the stairs, discussing something of “great importance”.
I listened in:
Yeah, that sounds good. The sign should say that.
Yeah. Sign.
Yeah. Should we laminate it?
That sounds good, yeah… sign…
Sign? But the stairs were still broken. Two weeks later.
The next day, a sign was hanging in just about the worst possible place. You see, when I approach a set of stairs, I naturally look down the stairs. Makes sense, right? You know, so you know where to put your feet – so as not to fall down the stairs.
But no. The Borg Collective put a sign above the stairs, to catch your eye and make you fall down the stairs. Clever. What a great way to generate more reports! Genius! What a great way to justify their own existence!
Anyway. The stairs were fixed this week. After about two months. Of course the sign remains. To lure more victims.
So, to the point of all of this.
You have a plan to do something, and perhaps you don’t know what the next step really is, all you know is if you collect underpants, you will profit.
If you want to figure out the next step, how to get to your goal, your profit, keep your eyes on the goal.
How would you know which way to go if you didn’t know the destination?
(Whatever you do, don’t ask the sign committee where I work… you could try the Map, if you like.)
So what does the picture above have to do with fixing the stairs? Everything.
The picture above is from the Edinburgh Beltane Fire Festival. Sometimes, you need to unplug from the minutia of life, to get your bearings, to refocus.
Happy Beltane everyone – have a bonfire tonight, and celebrate all that is good in life, with friends and family. Jump over the bonfire. Make love with your lover. Clear your mind of the cobwebs.
And tomorrow, whatever you do, remember the reasons why you are doing what you are doing. Keep moving towards your goal, no matter what.
Fix the stairs.
LOL! You are the pride of the Federation.
Vijayendra Mohanty’s last blog post..What my name is
Vijayendra,
Thanks for stopping in today! Hey, I had to work Star Trek in here somewhere… those guys get it. Especially Kirk…
AGHHHH….you are giving me nightmeres…Don’t…make….me…remember…the…cube…..
aaghhhhh……
My boss had meetings to discuss whether we should have meetings about having a meeting. All which he ignored your comments as his eyes never left his computer screen because he was responding to his IM’s-which beeped through out the entire meeting about the meeting.
Agghhhhhh.
Got…to…go…get…more coffee…
Thank god I escaped…….
Wendi Kelly’s last blog post..Twiddling Thumbs
Yes, the cube… you can’t escape the cube… (well, you can – many have, and I’m next…)
Have a coffee, and then more coffee, and tonight, jump over the fire
Yes you can escape. I did.you can.
Yes, we will have a fire tonight, our celtic roots run deep.
Wendi Kelly’s last blog post..Twiddling Thumbs
Wendi,
Oh, I know… that is why I look to so many of you, so many of my friends out here, as inspiration. I know that you did it, and I can – and will – do it too. Just a matter of time, and hard work… staying focused on the goal.
We will raise our glasses to you tonight!
@ Wendy – Yeah, the “meeting about how often we should have meetings” was, for me, an harbinger of doom. I knew my time in the corporate world was nearing an end. I nearly tore my eyes out of their sockets.
@ Brett – Excellent post, as always, my friend.
Bob Younce at the Writing Journey’s last blog post..How to Make $750 a Week Writing Part Time at Helium
@ Bob,
Thank you, my friend – I hear you about meetings, I’m kind of partial to icepicks myself.
Nothing says “I love my job” like running in circles screaming, with icepicks jammed in your eye sockets
HAHAHAH! Even though I’m familiar with this story, it’s still hilarious.
The sad thing is, examples like this seem to be the rule, and not the exception.
I’ve seen it take THREE MONTHS to have a fluorescent light fixed in an office. The poor guy working there was forced to sit in the dark during the winter months, with only a cheesy desk lamp. Nobody seemed to be getting angry about this either….it was par for the course.
Of course, if he had tried to replace the light by himself, there would have been a “Grievance” and he’d have gotten in shit for it.
“Fixing the stairs” is a great metaphor.
If a company can’t fix a step or change a lightbulb, how are they supposed to run their own business?
Friar’s last blog post..Beware the Soup Martyrs
Yo, Oi, and ’sup?
I have been uber busy (can’t find the umlaut key on my keyboard) this past few weeks and I can’t believe how much has been written here. That is just awesome (as in full of awe).
I popped in last night to catch up and realized the quantity here. So I booked one hour this morning in my calender. I called it “Peer Review”. That ought to confuse them, I am a manager with no underlings and no clear reporting structure! Yeah, love that stress!
Anyway, I am at the other end of the spectrum at a smallish company with a small company mentality. If it sounds ike a good idea then it probably is so lets do it! No meetings, no planning, no $hit.
I think we should all get together and find the middle ground. Set up a consulting company and tell other people how to do it. Then we can watch as other people set up blogs about us. Telling us how we don’t have a clue and that we should have more/less meetings in order to achieve success.
And speaking of signs, a good friend of my wife’s gave me a sign for Christmas. It says “Banging you head against the wall burns 150 calories and hour” I love it. I made my own sign below it. It says “900 calories so far today”
Since work eats all of my personal time too I am going to set up a meeting tomorrow called “Process planning and procedures” then add to my blog. Its been more than 6 weeks since I have. Tyler would have killed me by now.
Francis (needs a sucker punch) Kopke
Exactly, it is a rampant attitude not just here, but everywhere. Busy work, nothing getting done. I suffer from it too, hey, I’m human.
But we can recognize it, we can unplug, reassess, drink some beer
and then go back at it.
Yeah, if you can’t change a lightbulb…
(Perhaps we shouldn’t tell them about the raccoons in the building, eh?)
Soup Martyr… priceless
Francis – yo, bro… good to see you here, I had a feeling you’d drop in today (after Skype last night)
Thanks for saying that, my friend. It’s largely because of you, that I’m here.
And if you can’t find an umlaut, just cut and past the word Motörhead into your post, and then steal the umlaut. That’s what I always do.
(because you can never have enough Motörhead on your blog)
I agree – a productivity consulting company is something I’ve thought of at length lately. So many people do it the wrong way. I think we should charge them $1000/h to fix it for them. At least.
I’ll look forward to reading your blog, and I’ll keep my eye on you. Tyler’s busy watching me, so if someone sucker punches you, hey, you know where I live…
-Brett
Happy Beltane! Are you going to paint yourself red like that, Brett?
The widget factory sounds like a complete Catch-22. It sounds as bad as working for the State of MI over here. Reports breeding reports breeding reports. Then you can retire.
Ellen Wilson’s last blog post..Feed on Some RSS Fruit
Yes, we might miss a stair or two, but remaining focused on the goal in the distance will guide us. I guess?
Ellen Wilson’s last blog post..Feed on Some RSS Fruit
I am stuck in cube-land too.
Fortunately, my company takes safety super seriously since we own a bunch of plants. Someone slipped outside on the rocks near the parking log and they put down big flat rocks that afternoon.
Our facilities group is actually really good. They came up and replaced a light the day after we reported it had burnt out. When we called and complained that there was a funky smell, they were up in minutes checking it out.
Oh…and the signs they put up in the winter about slippery paths (even though they’re always well sanded and cleared) are just above knee level and right where you’d be looking when you’re watching your footing. Smart signs…
You know what we need around here?
Some VIKINGS.
Hire Olaf the ThunderFuck as a consultant. He’d come into the office, swinging a mace, and he’d smarten everyone up.
Bet you the stairs would get fixed pretty soon, after that!
(Hmmmm..This gives me an idea for another blog posting).
Friar’s last blog post..Beware the Soup Martyrs
“Keep your eye on the goal”
I swear this is my #1 problem…I get busy busy with the details and lose sight of the big picture, then drift off into something else or nothing at all. Is this what your Vision Board does for you? A big picture of the Big Picture?
Napoleon Hill’s very first activity in Think & Grow Rich is about maintaining focus in another way: composing an ultimate goal and most importantly, reading it aloud after waking and before bed each and every day.
Shrines and daily devotionals seem to work for the devout religious folks…and we’re no less devoted to our projects…maybe worth a try?
Crystal’s last blog post..Bible Sales: A Marketing Fable
@Ellen,
And a Happy Beltane to you too – I’ve got the red paint in the trunk of my car
I tell you, it just needs a minor tweak here. The pay is good, the benefits are good – we just need to clear out some of the “meeting junkies”.
It is okay to miss a stair or two, to stumble. That’s what the handrail (friends, family, and so forth) is for… and you can always stand back up.
@Sandie,
The attitude towards safety here is also quite good. The implementation is fair, could be improved. The layers of bureaucracy are what keeps us down. We need two signatures to authorize someone to shovel snow around a doorway in the winter…
@Friar,
Yes, it sure does make you think doesn’t it. If someone “important” had fallen down the stairs, it would have been fixed by 4 pm that day… BB comes to mind.
@Crystal,
I agree, that is my #1 problem as well. I’m insanely interested in everything, and my thoughts are rather non-linear, so I need something to keep me pointed in the right direction.
That is exactly why I have my Vision Board, a big picture of the Big Picture. I look at it several times a day. It is no coincidence that it has some very colourful pictures of important places on it. Places I’ve been, places I want to go.
(Which reminds me, I owe you an email this weekend.)
I also use Napoleon Hill’s technique, though I wasn’t familiar with it from that source. I review my goals morning and night, each day. I also keep a hard copy of them hanging on my Vision Board. I’m going to start reading them aloud. That sounds like a great addition to the technique.
If BB fell down the stairs, maybe the racoons would catch him.
Friar’s last blog post..Beware the Soup Martyrs
@Friar,
The raccoons would have to hold a meeting first to discuss the implications.
Refer to Racoon Procedures, RC-P-0500.234.01 Rev. 2.
Make sure you get the right Rev. number, otherwise, the racoons will be out-of-compliance.
Friar’s last blog post..Beware the Soup Martyrs
People reading this exchange might think we’re joking about racoons in the building.
But we’re not.
I swear, at the Widget Factory, the comedy just WRITES ITSELF.
Friar’s last blog post..Beware the Soup Martyrs
Brett,
Oh, man. You are some writer. I was laughing so hard at the post (yeah, I knew it was coming
), then at all the too-funny comments, then the raccoons’ meetings: ouch! My sides hurt.
Maybe they’ve found you, cyber-stalked you, and decided to fix the stairs to quiet you down. If so, the next laminated sign you read will say: Watch for falling pink slips. Uh-oh…
In between the laughter I noticed there was a lot of truth here. Eyes on the prize. Read The Map. Better yet, chart your own. I totally agree.
I don’t think I have space in the apartment for the bonfire, or time to take a lover before this evening, so I shall have to dust for cobwebs. ‘S okay, I’ve been letting the old brain get a bit webby lately.
Rock on, Brett. (And my friends Motörhead, too.) You are always moving forward!
Regards,
Kelly
Kelly’s last blog post..Inspiration Points: With Laser-like Focus, He Went the Wrong Way…
@Friar,
Yep, nookulur powered document processing at it’s finest… Seinfeld eat your heart out (but thanks for “Don’t Break the Chain”, that works wonders for me…)
@Kelly,
Thank you my friend, that is a wonderful compliment. (*blush*) I think the best part of doing this is what comes afterwards – the comments. It’s like the dessert, after you eat the broccoli. I’ve been laughing pretty hard myself…
(nothing against broccoli personally, I just prefer ice cream)
Ah yes, The Map. I am not a number, I am a FREE MAN!
(but today, I am Number Six)
On the weekend, I’ll continue to chart my own course, as we all must. Take the night off, we will have a drink to you tonight. Not sure about the red paint though, might stain Friar’s couch…
Ah, Motörhead – your blog still makes them cry, it rocks so hard. Keep on rocking, and moving forward.
-Brett
Brett,
I’m crying here one day, I’m cackling the next—it’s unbelievable. And I mean every sincere word sincerely. The insincere ones I mean with the not-quite-patented wigglin’ eyebrow emoticon. If you know what I mean.
re: Motörhead—Think any of them are single and nearby? Maybe there’s hope for my evening after all.
^^
. .
^
o
In order to be a free woman I am leaving this building immediately. taking off, w/o computer. I can’t get this post done because I am permitting blogs to help me fail. Naughty me.
Later,
Kelly
Kelly’s last blog post..Inspiration Points: With Laser-like Focus, He Went the Wrong Way…
Kelly,
I take that as a compliment then, as that means that my writing is true to life, and to my own feelings. And I really, truly appreciate what you said – it means a great deal, coming from you.
Ah yes, the wigglin’ eyebrow emoticon… I love it so
(see below for emoticon)
I think that Lemmy is still single. He’s a bit hairy though, might want to ask him to shave, unless you’re into that. But he’s a nice guy.
(I met him, at a show, believe it or not. Nice guy.)
Get thee to work, good woman, sans computer. Pen and paper shall set your thoughts free.
Brett
^^
. .
^
o
It’s Beltane! I always forget it’s May Day because this is also my dad’s birthday. What I’m really looking forward to is Summer Solstice
When I was a cube kitten I had great preference for smaller (startup) companies because they were more flexible and could get things done a lot faster, which suits my style. I worked for one big fortune 500 and you wouldn’t believe how long it took them to implement the most basic processes (actually you probably would believe it). Anyway, each type of company had its own ups and downs but red tape in the larger company was definitely a drawback (in my opinion).
Melissa Donovan’s last blog post..Snow Crash by Neal Stephenson
Melissa,
I hear you! Midsummer is awesome
and after that, my next favourite is Samhain. I’ve always liked the fall, cool windy nights and big bonfires.
I agree with you on the smaller sized companies. The best company I’ve ever worked for was also the smallest (4 people). There was no red tape at all. Things just got done. I think a company should be no larger than 8-10 people, so it can be agile. But that’s just me, and obviously it won’t work for everything.
You know what?
I’m commenting on your blog at home, and that’s fine.
But it ain’t anywhere near as much fun as doing it at work.
Forbidden fruit, and all that.
Friar’s last blog post..Beware the Soup Martyrs
Friar,
Heh heh, blogging the forbidden fruit, WordPress plays the role of Eve, and well, I’m Adam I guess…
Brett,
I know a guy who fixes stairs. You could, hire the guy, and still have time for Star Trek, Making Love and Blogging.
Bam. Solution.
Know anyone who could do the same with my accounting?
Blessings, enjoy the weekend.
Harmony’s last blog post..Are You BIG Enough To Take Up Space?
Harmony,
That sounds like a really great idea – and I have a proposal! I minored in accounting (sort of), perhaps we could use ye olde barter system
stairs for accounting!
Your new post is very good… I’m going to have to read it again. And think about it.
Aw man, I’m late to the party! AND I didn’t get a chance to celebrate Beltane b/c I’m at school. It is SO hard to start a fire in the dorms and to not get caught…
@The people who needed an Umlaut – ö = alt + 148, if you’re using a windows machine. For me, it only works if I use the number pad.
@Brett – I giggled at the Trek references, especially since I’ve got Voyager playing on a second monitor.
RLD: Taekwondo Happiness’s last blog post..Whoops!
[...] Really, though, could my friend expect anything less from a company that can’t even fix the stairs? [...]
[...] The man passed through the double doors, turned right and went down the stairs to his office. He tried not to laugh at the sign above the stairs. [...]
It is just stupid when companies get so bureaucratic and can’t just do something simple like fix stairs without having a meeting.
Bag Girl’s last blog post..Jack Georges Milano Tote | Italian Leather Business Bag with Croc Trim
@Bag Girl,
You know, I can honestly say that things have become *worse* here than they were when I wrote this blog post! All talk and no action gets us nowhere fast…
(You have a really interesting blog, you know – I like that. Different, unique.)
[...] can’t afford to fix the fucking stairs, but we got a new internet filter. I am Jack’s complete lack of [...]