participant.
June 24, 2008
We all know the secret to success, right?
Show up.
And a little luck doesn’t hurt.
Most folks have dreams – some are grandiose, some are more modest. It doesn’t matter, really, if your dream is big or small, as long as you are happy with it.
Luck – you can’t control.
But, you need to show up. You need to be a participant.
As Karen writes about belief and preparation, you need to keep that dream alive, to know you can do it. Perhaps that attracts the luck?
And you have to keep at it. That is showing up. Being a participant.
How many of us have dreams that have been shelved, for one reason or another?
Or ideas that are getting minimal attention, for one reason or another?
Many of the folks reading this have a book in the works.
I know I do, and I could name several friends who do. We are all working away at them, of course.
Can we get there? Will we get there?
It depends on our ability to show up.
Don’t believe me?
Meet Dave Dessler.
The man doesn’t even have a house. He lives on the street. He’s been writing poetry on pieces of cardboard, and selling it.
Yet now, he has a book. Yes, luck was involved. But he believed in it. He showed up. He was a participant.
So, what’s my excuse?
What’s yours?
Thanks for this one, Brett. Definitely what I needed this morning
He did it every day. He was consistent. He didn’t quit. He plodded along. He was faithful. He didn’t say, “Hey, I put a few poems on a piece of cardboard and nobody cared. I must not be good enough” He did what he did because THAT’S WHAT HE DOES.
Brett, that was inspiration. Thanks. Great way to start the day.
Wendi Kelly’s last blog post..The Perfect Day Part Two
@Colleen,
You are welcome – this one also made my day.
@Wendi,
That story was truly inspiring, wasn’t it? I am interested to check it out myself, just because of how much he believes in what he is doing. Keep on working at something – can and will – and believe.
Man, that WAS inspiring! I like that guy’s determination.
I’ve started writing down my daily goals every morning and this morning I started off writing instead of blogging (though I did answer a comment right away). Writing is super hard right now and I had to admit when I was spent and simply couldn’t write anymore. That was after only three-quarters of a page! I was thinking that maybe I was giving up, but I am actually just very tired because I stayed up too late trying to get this story started and my ideas are non-existent. Sometimes I have to force myself through that, but this morning it’s just not working. Getting back into writing fiction is hard – but because of you guys, I’m starting to “show up” every day!
Thanks for this!
steph’s last blog post..Fiction: Catharsis
PS. They need to print at least one poem somewhere. I want to read something he’s written!
steph’s last blog post..Fiction: Catharsis
@steph,
I know. If he can do it, we can do it – and I say that without looking down on the man, he’s just the same as you and me.
That’s why we can do it too. He has more determination than I do – or rather, than I had, until I read his story.
You’ll do it my friend.
–
Here you go – I found one:
“Just walk on by me, not hearing what I said. Just totally ignore me, I might as well be dead. I could sit here all day, well into the dark of night, It doesn’t mean you’ll see me, you don’t have the insight. I don’t have a job or anywhere to live, I try not to be obnoxious, say thank you when you give. I really don’t want to be here, begging in this way, So a kind act or word would really make my day. Not all of us are drunkards or addicts or insane in the head, But I made this bed I lay in. That’s all that needs to be said.”
– Crazzy Dave, 08/08/06
Awwww..Geez.
Yet ANOTHER person who’s way worse off than I am…who over came huge odds, and has accomplished more than I’ve set out to do.
….now I REALLY feel like a screw-up!
(I admit…I’m havin’ a bad day here….and I have a BAD attitude!)
Someone ought to set me straight…!
Friar’s last blog post..Plantain Wars
@Friar,
You don’t need to be set straight – you just need a *beer* (and Thursday night’s coming fast)
“Whats your excuse?”
Love it. Reminds me of that line from Dodgeball:
Peter La Fleur: Uh, actually I decided to quit… Lance.
Lance Armstrong: Quit? You know, once I was thinking of quitting when I was diagnosed with brain, lung and testicular cancer all at the same time. But with the love and support of my friends and family, I got back on the bike and won the Tour de France five times in a row. But I’m sure you have a good reason to quit. So what are you dying of that’s keeping you from the finals?
Peter La Fleur: Right now it feels a little bit like… shame.
Dave Navarro’s last blog post..5 Tips To Recharge Your Body And Mind Overnight
Brett, the entire story line of the last episode of BSG would have been easier to read this morning. I guess I should ask for spoiler alerts for posts that call my actions (or lack thereof) into question, and posts that make me think.
That’s the second time you’ve made me re-think and then sent me off to a post that would continue the process (Wendi then Karen) — and I haven’t been reading you that long. Seriously, though, thanks for sharing.
I can and will participate because I believe I am prepared to exceed expectations. Heh!
BTW, I’m first name dot coln at green-ize dot com if any friends want to reach me.
April, the reformed passivist’s last blog post..Ego Imprisons the Passivist
Brett..
I’m being Devils Advocate again (admittedly, I’m a grumpy Friar today!)
Oboy…successful street poets, Lance Armstrong….can and will….follow your dreams…learn to love one another….the whole dawning of the Age of Aquarius.
My God. Is everyone on the planet a super-achiever?
Is there anyone left (beside me) who isn’t currently self-actualizing on a journey of spiritual discovery?
Like I said. I’m havin’ a typical bad day. I’ve acheived nothing at work, and there are tons of projects at home that I’ve been neglecting.
But I don’t dare be negative, and I don’t dare quit (Lest I feel the shame and guilt of Peter Lafleur)
You know what? I’m just gonna go home tonight. Drink beer. And watch a lot of bad TV.
And I might do the same tomorrow night too. And accomplish nothin’.
And to hell what Lance Armstrong, Stephen Hawking, Bubble Boy (or for that matter, the Tooth Fairy and Pappa Smurf) might think!
Friar’s last blog post..Plantain Wars
Hey….grumpy Friar Friend…..
Nobody says we have to ride the pony every day. In fact…all that leads to is burn out…or grumpy Friar. The key to it all is Balance.
I already played the super achievier game. No thanks. I went straight to the top, made a fortune, rang the bell, ignored my family, screwed up a marriage, distroyed my immune system, popped the balloon and came back down like Winne the Pooh on a bad day. TuT Tut..looks like rain.. Baby, it was a monsoon.
Nope, Key to this game is balance. A little every day, and a day of rest isn’t gonna hurt you either. In fact, its mandatory. But don’t kid yourself that you don’t have a dream. Cause I’ve seen it. You don’t have to do anything about it today. Put your feet up, re-charge your batteries, that’s a HUGE important part. Fried Friar isn’t going to be any good to anybody. But you still have a lot of friends who love you even when you are fried and crabby.
Wendi Kelly’s last blog post..The Perfect Day Part Two
Brettt, wow!! The Dessler story totally inspired me! My gosh we have so many excuses and here is a man who achieved what I want with far less than I have at my disposal. You are so right about participating in our own success. I am so fired up, thank you Brett! Thanks also for the link love.
You never fail to motivate me my kilted wonder friend. Can and will!
Karen
Karen Swim’s last blog post..Making MERRY from Failures
@Wendi
Thanks for the pep talk.
I think I need a “Control Alt Delete” or something.
If I was a kid, I’d give myself a Time-Out.
Mabye I’ll just do that!
Friar’s last blog post..Plantain Wars
I came back to finish reading the comments and now have tears streaming down my face and a sore tummy (okay the abs were aching already but they hurt more). Friar you are a riot! I know it does seem like we’re all in the happy bubble. I for one confess that I am but let me tell you that the road to happy was paved with blood, sweat and tears. We all have grumpy days and the occasional pity party, in fact I just packed away the decorations from my last one. So go ahead and be grumpy, kick the smurf, bark at the dog and start tomorrow with a fresh perspective.
You are not a loser, you just have a sucky job. 
Karen Swim’s last blog post..Making MERRY from Failures
Hey grumpy friar,
I’m a Mom and a grandma,
I can give you a time out it you want… ready?
Friar….go to your room…and don’t come out until you can play nice.
(How was that?
Wendi Kelly’s last blog post..The Perfect Day Part Two
I felt inspired when I read the post…and when I got to the comments section, I just had to laugh. This blog has all the ingredients of success: inspiration, whacky readers and laughter!!
Evelyn Lim | Attraction Mind Map’s last blog post..Five Hindrances To A Successful Meditation
@Dave,
That line kicks ass…
@April,
Hmm, maybe I need an “action warning” (sort of like the kleenex alert I had before with tear-jerker stories) – I’m glad that it worked for you and that you also went to see Wendi and Karen’s blogs – both very excellent places for inspiration, I go there all the time.
Yes – you can and will do it!
My friend thanks you again for your email – he did send you a message, but perhaps Gmail is acting up. I’ll ask him to send it again…
@Friar,
You devil you… I wonder if Wendi has let you out of your room yet!
Hey. Some days you just need to unplug. You can’t run at 110 percent all the time, and you do run pretty hard, my friend. Don’t mess with Papa Smurf, though – he knows magic.
As Wendi says…
@Wendi,
Right on. Balance is the key – just do a little every day, take time to reflect, sharpen the saw, whatever. Go read Dave Navarro’s blog today and see how he suggests a recharge when you sleep. Awesome.
(@Dave – you hear that? AWESOME.)
@Karen,
Wonder Woman! You are welcome – and thank *you*, as always, for motivating me. I am going to track down a copy of Dessler’s book and also see if I can talk with the fellow who is publishing it – you never know, that may be the break I need.
And oh yes, when Friar gets on a rant it is hilarious… you should see him in person, it usually ends in laughter all around (beer helps, of course…)
@Friar again,
We’ll have a few pints and a fire this week – that will help. And we’ll work on our project.
@Wendi again,
I wonder if Friar’s come back out yet…
@Evelyn,
Thank you for saying that – I couldn’t do it without everyone here. We are all a part of this.
I, too, have to admit to laughing out loud as I was away from here doing chores etc. tonight. It was a good read (especially when Wendi sent Friar to his room)
@ Friar: I understand. I had a bad day too. It sucked the big one. I felt doubt and shame and fear and guilt and angry and exhausted and even a little drunk (but that was the shot of Southern Comfort I had after dinner. Didn’t I tell you it didn’t take much? I had to go lie down!). Sometimes, for me, the only way to feel better is to acknowledge how shitty I feel and that it’s totally okay, so long as I don’t take it out on anyone else. Feeling shitty isn’t wrong, it’s what you do with that feeling that could be wrong. Sometimes I like to “embrace” my dark moods, as I did today, and accept that they’re a part of me, as much as the happy moods. I also often find myself wittier, sarcastic, and even cleverer when I’m pissy! I totally know what you mean by feeling annoyed when everyone else seems to be cheery, and sometimes feeling as though you just need someone to say, man, I totally hear you, instead of telling you how to think or cheer up. I usually prefer to be alone when I’m in a crap mood, though a friend who knows how to read me can help. In the end, I might put on some good music or read blogs like yours or do something I want to do and I end up wearing out the bad mood.
EVERYONE, even the most motivating dudes (and dudettes) who seem so irritatingly positive to you, has bad days just like you. Everyone deals differently, and sometimes it takes people longer than others to turn the bad day around. Doesn’t mean they’re lesser, only that they think differently.
There’s nothing wrong with positivity, it’s only ever for the best, after all, and I suspect it gets on our nerves only when we can’t reach it ourselves with as much frequency and intensity as others. That comes with practice.
steph’s last blog post..Fiction: Catharsis
@ Wendi: You rock!
steph’s last blog post..Fiction: Catharsis
Friar,
You go, grumpy man. *big wink* Don’t think you aren’t on that journey, though, ’cause you wouldn’t get so irritated if you weren’t. I’ve read your writing. You just have your own unique path, thank goodness. Friars can not be made from standardized molds.
Brett,
Participant. I like it a lot. Can’t discount luck, but without stick-to-it-iveness, luck won’t have the foundation it needs. Well said.
Kelly’s last blog post..Dave Balter Does Not Want to Sell his Book
Balance is something I am still learning to do. It is a slow process but I am going to stick with it and SHOW UP! I believe and right now that is the best thing I can do!
Wendi – Will you send me to my room, with my laptop? So I don’t have to go to work and have time (I know this goes against the balancing act) to do other stuff I am behind on?? Maybe send me just to my apartment!
Brett – Great Post! Intriguing comments!
Jenny’s last blog post..It Is My Life
@steph,
You said that so well, I won’t add to it. Good show.
@Kelly,
Thank you my friend. The poet guy has more stick-to-it-iveness than most people I know, and that’s why it is working for him. When luck came his way, he was ready.
@Jenny,
Thank you – and I agree, what a great bunch of comments.
–
I wonder if Friar came down from his room yet…
PS -
@April,
My friend just tried to email you and the message was returned. You can email my friend at
brett DOT legree AT gmail DOT com
if you like – I can pass the message on to him
@ Brett: it’s easier to dish out advice than to swallow it. I need to apply what I wrote to myself today!
steph’s last blog post..Tip #7: Write About What You Know
@steph,
That is 110 percent correct – and that’s why I like to write about this stuff, because then I read it again, and I read the comments, and then think:
“If I’m going to talk the talk, I’d better walk the walk.”
[...] and bad day shit, and I should probably just take my own advice I gave to Friar on being grumpy, on Brett’s post yesterday. At the same time, perhaps I should take Tei’s advice. Dude, she said, after I [...]
Brett
I have to laugh at the ribbon.
Because I remember these swim meets we had as kids. And even if you came DFL (Dead F***ing Last), you’d still get a lame-ass ribbon for just showing up.
Oooh. Look! EVERYONE WINS…!
Isn’t that just SPECIAL?
Well….not really. We didnt’ WIN…!.
Kids aren’t stupid. You can’t fool ‘em with stuff like this.
Friar’s last blog post..The Gitchiest Christmas Ever
I can’t recall now where I found these words of wisdom, but I wrote them down and they’ve been tucked into a pocket of my planner for about three years and they came to mind after reading this post:
1. Show up.
2. Pay attention to what has meaning for the heart.
3. Tell the truth without blame or judgment.
4. Be unattached to the outcome.
Being fully present in our lives, paying attention to the things that hold deep meaning for us, speaking our truth, and being unattached to the outcome keeps us open to possibility, to opportunity, to experiences we may not even have dreamed of.
Wonderful post, Brett.
Lisa’s last blog post..When You’re Cranky and You Know It…
Friar,
I wondered if anyone would see the nuance there…
And that’s sort of a hidden meaning too – because the kids who didn’t show up, didn’t even get a participant ribbon.
The ultimate FAIL.
So – show up. Or no participant ribbon for you!
Oh Good, Friar is back! And he is smiling!
Friar, our converstion yesterday help me write a post today that is inspired by you, but NOT directed AT you. You just stirred up some memories, from a time when I went through a very low burnt out time period and was a crabby non goal oriented Wendi for a pretty long while. But thanks for the seeds. You aren’t the only one who gets time outs, or feels like we can’t always keep up with all of this stuff all the time.
Wendi Kelly’s last blog post..Taking Time for Time Out.
@Lisa,
I think I’ve read those words somewhere before myself. They are very true – thank you for sharing them with us. I like #4 – that is the essence of fail early, fail often.
@Wendi,
We all get burned out from time to time – and as you wrote, we need to recharge.
Very cool Brett. One of my favorite homeless poets in San Francisco just died recently. He should have had a book. So this made me happy.
Amy’s last blog post..Can You Write Away the Block? How About the Burnout?
Amy,
Thank you, my friend – I am glad that you enjoyed this. We must not forget about these people – for they are people.
(You know, I’ve not been by your blog for a bit – and I just realized why – for some reason my feed reader wasn’t picking up your feed… all fixed now. I’ll be over there soon!)
-Brett
Brett – Harry said that happened to him too. I don’t really know about feed readers or how they work, unfortunately.
Amy’s last blog post..Can You Write Away the Block? How About the Burnout?
[...] Brett so eloquently pointed out this week, you have to be a participant. Sitting on the sidelines and learning the rules is useless if you don’t take action. The [...]
[...] Participant [...]