viking fridays – burn the boats.

“Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back, always ineffectiveness. Concerning all acts of initiative and creation, there is one elementary truth the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: that the moment one definitely commits oneself, and then providence moves too. All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one’s favor all manner of unforeseen incidents, meetings and material assistance which no man could have dreamed would have come his way. Whatever you can do or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power and magic in it. Begin it now.”

- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Many of us have ideas for change.  Dreams we want to follow.  But it is all too easy to become comfortable in our daily lives, and let things sit for “someday”.

Legend has it that* Viking commanders would order the warriors to burn their boats upon landing on enemy shores for battle.  That way, there was no retreat – no surrender.  The warriors had no choice but to press on to victory.

Pure motivation.

Applied to our daily lives and our desires to change, what does this mean?

Beware the man who has nothing to lose.  He will accomplish more than could ever be imagined.

Many great things have been accomplished when there were no alternatives.  Remember back to the Apollo 13 mission.  The crew, with help from Mission Control, had to come up with an idea to save themselves, and execute that plan.  Because it really mattered that time.

So we can sit around day in, day out, looking at our task lists, our motivational posters, all of these things which help us – and that’s great.  I believe that we need this to maintain focus.

But eventually, you just have to burn the damned boat and get on with the battle.

Perhaps it is as simple as asking yourself, “If my life really depended upon this action, how would that change the way I approach it?”

Of course you know the answer – you’d just DO IT.

Your Viking homework assignment for the weekend is to pick one thing you’ve put off doing, and just DO IT.

It does not matter what it is.

Burn the boats.

Come back after the weekend and tell everyone how the battle went.  I will do the same.

–

*(at least, in my small corner of the universe, where warriors wear horned helmets and bake nice bread – hey, it’s my blog, I can write whatever I want!  Actually, legend has it that the Greeks might have done this – but this is VIKING Fridays, not Greek Fridays, so my apologies to any history students reading this…)

step out of line.

You can learn a lot by watching children play.

On the weekend, we took our children to a local theme park.  It was a great day, and the kids had a lot of fun.

One of the attractions at the park has a couple of small water slides – inflatable ones, where the exit is right beside the steps to the top of the slide.  After a few minutes, I noticed something about my children, that was different from most of the other kids at the park.

My children had difficulty understanding that they had to wait in line before they could go on the slide again.  One of my boys kept trying to just go back up the steps and have another turn, and the attendant needed my assistance to get him to wait in line.

I thought about it right then, and talked about it with my wife on the way home.  I chatted with Monika about it over at her blog too.  We had a nice chat about being remarkable, stepping out of the box, and how the traditional education system sometimes does not empower people.

My children did not know that they had to line up, because they have not yet gone to school.  Not even nursery school.

(Our oldest boy does, of course, as he is school age.  He’s been indoctrinated!)

We are taught, at school, and then later in life, and at work (if we work in a traditional company), to stand in line.  To listen to authority.  To wait our turn.

Because that is “the way it is”.  That is “the right way to do things”.   Successful people follow the rules.

Four or five years of freedom, followed by about 20 years of school, followed by about 30 to 35 years of work, at the end of which you get your “reward” in the form of retirement and pension, for as long as you live – 15 or 20 years if you are lucky.  Many are willing to trade the best years of their lives, when they are young and healthy, for the dream of freedom when they are comparatively older and more frail.

Does this sound like a good deal to you?  It doesn’t to me.

Hmm.  For a good 30 years of my life (I’m 38 now), I’ve been standing in line.  Am I successful?  Well, yes I am, on many levels.  So I am thankful for that.

Am I where I want to be?  Well, mostly – but it could be better.  I know it could be better.

Why am I not where I want to be?  Why are you not where you want to be?

(If you are where you want to be, you probably understand what I am about to write, and you’ve already done it.)

Because on most levels, I’ve played “by the rules”.  Now, I’m not advocating mass anarchy.  (Pipe down back there, Tyler.)  You should probably still follow the speed limit when you drive.  You shouldn’t rob the local liquor store.

Bad idea.

But, think about it for a minute.  You are probably (in a metaphorical sense) standing in line right now.  You know that things could be done in a much better way, yet you do them the way you do them because someone told you to do them that way.

You went to school, and were taught to stand in line.  To listen to authority.

(Never mind what you studied, you could have learned that on your own.)

You were taught that to get ahead, you had to stand in line.

So you did it.

And then, a bit later in life, you realized that the “successful” people were often the ones who didn’t listen to those rules, or at least stopped listening to them when they became adults.

Some rules are meant to be broken.

Stop standing in line.

Step out of line for a moment, and think about what you could do if you did things your way.

(I’ll wait.)

There.  Liberating, isn’t it?

Bill Gates.

Michael Dell.

Richard Branson.

Did not succeed by standing in line, or following the rules.  You might say, they were square pegs.

Think about it, next time you’re standing in a line.

You don’t have to stand in line, you don’t have to follow someone else’s rules.

Make your own rules.

Step out of line.

viking fridays – a long road.

Young and alone on a long road,
Once I lost my way,
Rich I felt when I found another,
Man rejoices in man.
- The Hávamál

We are all on a journey, in one way or another, and sometimes we may feel lost, and alone.

But we are so lucky, if we think about it.  We are never truly alone.  Unlike those crazy Vikings, we have the internet.

We have email.

We have telephones.

And we still have good old fashioned letters.  Nothing like getting a handwritten letter in the mail, is there?

Rejoice today, for you are not alone.

When this Viking has a chance (soon), he will come back and write something to give thanks to all of his friends, that will still pale in comparison with what Cath and Monika have recently written.

Thank you, my friends, for letting me know on- and off-line that I am not alone in my journey.

May all of you rejoice in the friends you find on your own journeys.

(PS – I’ve been on the road in this picture.  I will travel it again.)

(PPS – not sure where my last post went – it is still in the database, I can access it via the admin panel… ack!)

square peg, round hole.

The story of a man, trying to fit in where he does not belong.*

Today’s post was originally going to be something else, but sometimes you have to write what feels good, what’s on your mind.  The other post will come soon, and it will tie in with this one.

This is the story of a man, trying to fit in where he does not belong.  This man works for a fairly large company, that has not been doing very well of late, in spite of the management telling the employees quite the opposite story.

(Newsflash.  We are not stupid.  We know what is going on.)

Anyway…

The man has worked for this company for many, many years.  A little over seven years ago, the man and his wife lost a child.  They also had a child who survived, but the pain of the lost child followed them through the years, and still haunts them to this day.

Initially, the man’s co-workers were sympathetic.  They gave the man and his wife the usual things in a situation like this – a card, some flowers, and so forth.  They expressed sorrow at the loss, and made the man feel good.  Like part of a family at work.

Then, slowly, things started to change.  You see, the man was foolish.  He was dedicated to the company, at first.  And so, even though he could have and should have taken a leave of absence, the man pushed on.  He went to work, and did the best damned job he could.

Yet, the man’s supervisors did not see it this way.  The man should have healed instantly, and because he did not, it was noted on his performance appraisal that year.

Still, the man soldiered on.  He thought he could redeem himself.  He continued to work as best he could, in spite of the growing feelings within him – feelings of not belonging.

For you see, the man and his wife have a complicated life.  The man’s wife is a cancer survivor.  The man and his wife also have three other beautiful children.  And the man puts his wife and children before the company and his job.

This, apparently, is a no-no.  Now, the man is pretty smart and realizes that because of his choice to be a good husband and a good father, he has been and is being penalized at work in various ways.  So the man is working to change this – both by finding new work in his field, and by reinventing himself.

Today, the man asked for a professional reference from a former supervisor who he *used to* respect very much, up until today.  He simply asked for a reference.

But the former supervisor took it upon himself to point out to the man that he “does not seem to be engaged at work” and this is noticeable.  The man thought to himself, “I wonder if all of the other fathers with four kids, including a triplet set, are fully engaged at work.  I wonder if all of the other workers who don’t believe everything the company says, are fully engaged at work.”

Then the man realized that he is the only one with four kids, including a triplet set.  He is one of the very few who is not completely brainwashed by the company.  So of course, everyone else seems to be engaged at work.  They are round pegs, for round holes.  Model drones *ahem* employees.

The man is most definitely a square peg, and each successive attempt to fit into the round hole gets more and more painful.

The man knows that ultimately, because of his life and life choices, he will have to do it on his own.  He will always be a square peg, and it seems that all of the holes in his field are round.  So he will have to make a square hole, just for himself.

–

*Names have been changed and/or withheld to protect the innocent.  Oh, and to make sure I don’t get Dooced… with apologies to Dooce, for she is cool and wise.

the greatest thing since sliced vikings.

The fastest friends may fall out
When they sit at the banquet-board
It is, and shall be, a shameful thing
When guest quarrels with guest.
- The Hávamál

I couldn’t resist taking a picture of this – who says we don’t have cool stuff at the local grocery store?

(As a side note, the table runner below is made up of stones from the mighty Waikato River in New Zealand.  Though our little Vikings try, they cannot destroy it…)

Those crazy Vikings – not only did they obviously invent sliced bread, but they seemed to have some ideas about table manners too.

I read this and really thought about it – truth and wisdom in these words.  How often have you sat with friends or family to eat, and ended up in an argument?

I know we have, more than once.  And what a shame.  A meal with friends or family is a time for celebration.

Put aside differences for later – they can wait.  And in most cases, they are not worth it.  Have a good meal, and another glass of wine.

(I had too many glasses of wine last night, which is why my post is late today!)

If you have fallen out with a friend or family member, give some thought to picking up the phone, or even a pen and paper for a good old fashioned letter.

Life is far too short to hold onto grudges.

a cog.

We went to a provincial park this weekend to visit some friends, just for the day.  The children were very excited to go, not only to see their friends, but because they knew they’d be playing at the beach all day long, and that we would have dinner by the water.

Last year we decided to buy a portable barbecue for beach days.  Though we could have purchased any style we wanted, we decided to get an old-fashioned hibachi.  My wife and I both have fond memories of our parents cooking out with these, and we wanted to pass this on to our children.

We had picked up a very nice cut of prime rib from our local butcher.  The meat is sourced locally – free-range organic beef.  I had purchased a nice bottle of wine the day before, and I packed two wine glasses with it.  Hey, it might be grilling on the beach, but we can have some class, right?

One of our friends was poking fun at us for using the hibachi, because it was “slow and old-fashioned”.  Never mind that we cooked our meal, ate it, and cleaned up before they even started to eat… they were so busy with all of the preparation for their meal.  Salad, appetizers, and so forth.  Too much.

Oh well, to each their own.

It really gave me pause to think, and to reflect.  After dinner, I was playing with my kids in the water.  We were throwing driftwood sticks back into the river, and the warm sun rays were reflecting off the water in that way that makes you feel alive.  I had a song playing in my head at that moment, and I felt that everything was right.

If you have been reading along with me the last few months, you’ve noticed that a lot of what I write is about life change, following your dreams and so forth, and also that the undertone to a lot of it is simplifying things.  Only going after that which is important to you.

I really thought about what was important to me, as that song played in my head.  And on our drive home, my wife and I talked about it.  We really connected that day, and it was something special.  We are summer people for sure, and will chase that part of our dreams together.  If nothing else, we just want to go to the beach every weekend.

And today, back to work.  I did not stop to think about work until I sat down to write this, and that was when I took a line from the song as the title to my post.

Though you may feel like “a cog in something turning round and round”, you can change – you don’t have to be part of a particular machine, if you don’t like that machine.  We all have a place here in this world, like a cog, but it is up to us to make sure that we are part of the right machine – the one that feels right to us.

Here is the song that was in my head.

(Yes, I’m a closet hippie.)

My friend is making good progress towards change – he received some positive feedback from a couple of contacts.  Meanwhile, I continue to write – 3359 words last week.  I did not run, rather, I worked with my kettle bells again.  I will run this week.

viking fridays – a small hut.

A small hut of one’s own is better
A man is his master at home
A couple of goats and a corded roof
Still are better than begging.
- The Hávamál

Thanks again to the Friar for the artwork (why does this picture remind me, of me?)

What are our Viking friends talking about on this fine sunny day?

I have a house – it is a good house, very pretty, with a nice garden.  It is not large, but it keeps me warm in winter, dry when it is raining, and it protects my family.  I may not always live there, and if I move, I would not want much more (though a house on the ocean would be nice!)

Let us all give thanks today for our good fortune, that we have a roof to keep us dry, walls to keep out the wolves and keep us warm.

For not everyone is so lucky.

Be proud of yourself, of who you are, of what you do, of what you can give back to this world.

You are a part of it, and you would be missed if you were not here.

–

Happy Independence Day to our friends (Viking or otherwise) in the United States – I wish that we could all be together to celebrate in person!

draw your own line.

Yesterday at Men with Pens, Bamboo Forest said the following:

“Life is about balance. And the only person who can draw the line is the individual. If the world draws your own lines – you are in trouble.”

We are ultimately the architects of our own destiny, when you take fate out of the equation.  Most of us (bear with me) are privileged to live in great countries, that have good social structure, and hopefully we have family and friends to help us when we fail.

For we will fail.

We will fail.  That is how we learn.

Many of us push ourselves very hard – to change, to succeed, whatever.  Each of us has our own motivators.  Each of us has a breaking point.

But there is a balance.

You define yourself.  You are not defined by the world around you.

As Tyler Durden said:

“You’re not your job. You’re not how much money you have in the bank. You’re not the car you drive. You’re not the contents of your wallet. You’re not your fucking khakis.”

Dave Navarro asked, Would the World Stop if You Did?

The answer is – no.

But, we would miss you.  Don’t kill yourself.  Remember, you are perfect, just the way you are.

Take some time out for yourself, and your family, this weekend.

The picture above?  That is how I do it.  This is my tree.  I sit under it, with a cold drink.  It might be beer.  It might be water.  It might be vodka and lemonade.

(I sound like an alcoholic…)

Maybe you like to fish, like Friar.

It does not matter what you do.  Just take some time out.

Draw your own line.

We will be here when you return.  When you return, to kick ass and take names.