can’t fly without wings? fake it.
August 14, 2008
Levitation 5 by Piotr Bizior, http://www.sxc.hu/
Buzz Lightyear was just a toy. But he believed he could fly, in his own way. Learned to fly without wings.
But he was just a toy. He should have known better. He should have accepted himself as the lesser being he was, as one of the commentators suggested at Men with Pens today. A fair opinion, but I see it differently.
No. Buzz accepted himself for who he was, and worked with it.
There is no such thing as a lesser being. We may not have all of the resources we need, but we can make up for it with resourcefulness. Tony Robbins speaks of this in a TEDTalk. Take a few minutes to watch this video, it is well worth your time. (Thanks to Michael Martine for pointing me to this video a while back.)
No one person is better than any other one person.
For instance, Bill Gates is no better than any of us.
What was Bill Gates? Resourceful. When IBM approached him for an operating system to go with the first IBM PC, he did not have one. But he *told* them he did. He faked it. He accepted himself for who he was, and worked with what he had.
He purchased 86-DOS from Seattle Computer Products, licensed it to IBM, and the rest is history.
Bill Gates was resourceful. He was clever, no doubt, but he was resourceful. He had guts. I admire him for that.
Many of us are clever – but do we have the guts to back it up?
Maybe we can’t really fly. But we can fake it, just long enough to get someone to believe in us.
Do we have the guts to fake it?
Imagine what we could do…
“To Infinity… and Beyond”, indeed.
I accept myself – but I refuse to accept that is all I am.
James Chartrand – Men with Pens’s last blog post..Learning to Fly Without Wings
As long as the first person to really believe in you is yourself, I guess. If we fake it long enough until people really believe us, and we can’t follow through and make it (instead of fake it), those same people are gonna drop you like a brick!
Fake it until you make it is a great strategy to trick your brain, and in the process that of other people too. But it’s centered around you, not them in my opinion.
@James – That one got me thinking…and although it sounds good, it doesn’t make sense to me. How can you accept and not accept yourself at the same time? If you are determined to improve yourself because you want to be better than you are now, isn’t that part of accepting yourself too? Knowing that you’re not there yet, but knowing that you’ll get there…
Ah…flying that would be a great skill…
Lodewijk’s last blog post..Productivity Secrets
@ Lode – You misread my comment. I didn’t say that I accept myself and don’t accept myself at the same time. I wrote that I don’t accept that is all I am.
It means that I accept what I am right now. This level of confidence, that level of ability, this type of quirk, that type of fear… whatever the sum is that makes me be me, I accept.
But I do not accept that I am always limited in that state and can never seek to be more. That doesn’t mean I don’t accept ME. It means I don’t accept restriction of me.
James Chartrand – Men with Pens’s last blog post..Learning to Fly Without Wings
@James – Clear! So essentially we’re saying the same thing.
Man…if there was a superhero of commenting, you’d be it. Post comment…swoosh…reply. I wonder when I’ll see your reply appear above the comment you’re replying to.
Lodewijk’s last blog post..Productivity Secrets
About two seconds after the notification hits my inbox, my friend
Woody: “You can’t fly!”
James: “Yes. I can.”
James Chartrand – Men with Pens’s last blog post..Learning to Fly Without Wings
*gives Subscribe to comment a funny look* 7:04, comment. 7:19, notification. That plugin is making me look slow.
James Chartrand – Men with Pens’s last blog post..Learning to Fly Without Wings
@ Brett: Oh I always loved Buzz. he is such a groovy little character isn’t he. Plus he teaches us a lot about having fun, being mischievous and cheeky. When I saw the pic of your post I first thought it was a guest post by Mr Chartrand himself.
Hehehe…it’s just so MwP style. Kind of like attitude in mid flight.
I agree with you wholeheartedly though. Nobody is better than the next person, except perhaps mass murderers and sickos. But then, deep inside they might be good too, I just find that hard to believe.
Faking it. Mmmhhh…. not sure about that. I was told to fake it until…when I was in MLM and look where that brought me. I rather believe in honesty because people will see through fake anyway.
Just look at Paris Hilton or most of modern day celebrities these days. Plus, I wonder whether they faking it will make someone really happy anyway. In reality you’d have to feel pretty shitty inside.
While I’d love to fly I happily admit that I cannot. But, I have other qualities that help me to “lift off mentally” at times.
Monika Mundell’s last blog post..Humble Reality Check And The Art Of Living
@James,
Right on.
@James & Lode & Monika,
Of course faking it is meant to exude confidence, and you have to then back it up at some point. I certainly wouldn’t advocate being fake in all ways!
If you know that you can eventually figure something out, why not say with confidence that you can do it? And if you can’t do it, at least you tried. If you go around saying honestly to everyone “I can’t do that”, perhaps that won’t work as well?
Honesty is a good thing for sure. Yet saying, “I can do that” even if you’ve not done it before or haven’t quite figured out all the details is not dishonest.
I do that all the time at work. Each time I get a new assignment, it is for something I’ve never done. Perhaps you are the same when you get a new freelance writing assignment, or whatever.
You’ve not written that article before. So you’ve not figured it out, but you will.
Thus – you exude the confidence that you will do it. Perhaps you wouldn’t choose the words “fake it” to describe that, but sometimes that’s what we need to do.
Hence my example of Bill Gates – I’m quite sure he didn’t know that everything would turn out alright. Most of us are pretty glad he had the guts to try.
I remember that I used that exact phrase IN MY MIND the first few weeks in Real Estate. Only in the sense of being an expert in the field. I mentally laid out what it meant to be an expert. What skills were needed. Had I ever sold a house before? No. But…did I have the knowledge of HOW to do it, the listening skills, the follow through, the marketing skills, the sales skills, the people skills, the negotiating skills, the ability to work harder than the average person was willing to and the time management skills? the answer was YES, a VERY BIG YES. So…”fake it til you make it,” didn’t seem like a lie. It was a matter of knowing I had what it took and not letting one simple fact of not ever selling a house before block my path.
Oh by the way, I got 5 listings in my first month, continued to grow and was Rookie of the year for our office.
It works. It really does.
Wendi Kelly’s last blog post..New Adventures
@ Brett: I got you. I think I misunderstood your post. My apologies. Yes, I certainly use confidence when i know what I’m talking about. I guess this shows too. Sometimes though there is a small line between confidence and arrogance.
I try to be vary of that. Certainly glad about good ol’ Bill, but who invented the Mac? I will be much happier about that person one day if you get my drift.
Monika Mundell’s last blog post..Humble Reality Check And The Art Of Living
[...] and releasing our limitations, and faking it. He’s writing more about this too in his post today, so I won’t steal his thunder. But one bit he wrote to me was this: “Did you know [...]
@Wendi,
That’s a great example, actually, and I know a few other people who have done that before. I have a friend who went through an interview saying he knew Visual BASIC, and then he learned it in a week. Hey, it landed him a new job paying about 50 percent more than he made at the time…
It does work!
@Monika,
No need to apologize, I thought you got the gist of the post mostly, and what you said certainly added to the conversation – it is okay to fake the confidence of knowledge in an area where we know we can figure it out, but we shouldn’t be fake personality-wise – on that I agree wholeheartedly!
Ah, the Mac! I have a feeling that Steve Jobs has faked it more than a few times, and we’re thankful for that too!
“Honesty is a good thing for sure. Yet saying, “I can do that” even if you’ve not done it before or haven’t quite figured out all the details is not dishonest.”
This is what caught my eye the most this morning. And when you clarified it more by using your example from work, I was like, HEY!!
My magic words. I suddenly feel like, whao, I GET it, even more than I thought I did before. I CAN do that.
Oh my God, my mind is reeling. I can’t even say what I want to say. Overload.
COOL!!
PS. Thank you for this. There is so much to learn from you.
steph’s last blog post..Faking It
[clenches teeth] I tried, but I can’t let it go. I meant whoa, of course.
steph’s last blog post..Faking It
@Steph,
Hey, you are welcome – and believe me, we have a lot to learn from you too – your latest post is really great! I’ll have to really read it all again to digest it – lots of great stuff there.
@Brett: Thanks!
Really, I was thinking aloud and trying myself to digest all the stuff that was previously discussed with James, you, commentators, and Colin when I wrote it!
steph’s last blog post..Faking It
Great stuff, Brett. Seeing all of this positive energy flow between you and Steph and James (and Buzz!) is contagious. Makes us all better at whatever it is we do. Keep it up!
Rebecca Smith’s last blog post..Where’s the semicolon love?
@Steph,
Well, you sure did a great job of it!
@Rebecca,
Thank you – and I certainly couldn’t do it without everyone here – it is great isn’t it!
@ Brett : my humble thanks.
@ Rebecca: I know! This is one of things I find so great about the blogging community: the infectiousness of positivity. And it’s so awesome how much you learn and how much encouragement and love you feel from total “strangers.” It’s often – dare I say it? – better than that of family and (other) friends.
steph’s last blog post..Faking It
@Brett & Steph – It’s true! I think there’s a camaraderie among we [ or should it be "us"? Steph?? ] bloggers, writers, editors, whatever that goes beyond what our friends and families can offer (or understand).
Rebecca Smith’s last blog post..Where’s the semicolon love?
I, of course, agree with the messages both you and MwP are saying about the movie. It’s all great. Here’s my take on it…if I can be the resident cartoon expert of the day.
Buzz does indeed literally *have* wings (they pop out the sides). He believes he is a space ranger at first and everyone is *very* impressed (sorry James, but only Woody laughs at him). His belief is so great that when he shows the others he can fly, he in turn actually *does* (in a way). Buzz had zero doubt in himself, so it happened.That’s when Woody says it was just “Falling with style”.
Woody realizes Buzz is not a real space ranger and because of his jealousy, sets out to cut Buzz down. He eventually succeeds. The doubt has been placed in Buzz and when he tries to fly again (out the window), he fails. He is now crushed and then thinks he’s *worthless*.
It then takes Woody and their new found respect and friendship for each other to pump him back up. Yes, he’s just a toy…but somebody loves him (Andy). Yes, his laser isn’t ‘real’…but it still blinks and it’s really cool. Yes, he can’t *really* fly…but his ‘falling with style’ gets them safely back in Andy’s car.
Knowing who you really are is important. But you have to believe in yourself and surround yourself with supportive people. THAT is how you ‘fall with style’ and accomplish great things.
At least in my opinion. (sorry for the hijack Brett
)
Karen JL’s last blog post..Want Some Free Story Consulting?
We always tend to use Bill Gates for the Prime Example. If HE can do it…so can we.
But not everyone is a Bill Gates. If that were the case, all of us on the blogosphere would be bazillionaires and self-actualizing, writign our best-sellnig novels on an Island in the Caribbean.
I dont’ think Bill was just an average schmuck. To get that far, you can’t just fake it. You have to have SOME natural talent (at leading people, at networking, at convincing people to give you money…whatever).
That being said, faking it also goes a long way. Half the time, the so-called “experts” know didly-squat, just like the rest of us. Only they’re better at convincing the world that they’re “experts”, and they can charge a fortune for their services.
You can’t fake certain things (like being an engineer or doctor…you actually need some basic knowledge and skills) But you CAN fake a lot of other stuff.
It’s just knowing how to dance on that thin line, that matters.
Friar’s last blog post..Basil the Special Dog (Update Part II)
@Karen
Yeah…I remember that scene.
Buzz thinks he’s flying….for a brief second before gravity takes over.
As much as he wants to..he can’t “fake it”. He CAN’T FLY.
But he makes the best of his situation, and later deals with it.
(That’s where I’m coming from, from my last comment).
Friar’s last blog post..Basil the Special Dog (Update Part II)
@Karen JL,
Please hijack my blog any time! That was a great synopsis of the story, and the last part of your comment was good insight.
@Friar,
Bill Gates is just a good example (I think) because everyone knows him. I could have used Steve Jobs from Apple because he’s a better example (his parents were not rich, so he really did do it on his own).
But I still stand by it – perhaps Bill wasn’t some average schmuck – but neither are you, and neither am I. In fact, you and I both have more education than Bill Gates does. We didn’t drop out of university, like he did.
Other than having greater than average intelligence (which you and I have), what did Bill have? A good idea or vision (which we both have), and DRIVE. Commitment. A willingness to fall down, early in life.
Neither you nor I are billionaires right now. Nor do either of us have a string of failures trailing behind us, showing the world that we at least tried. We are not billionaires because we didn’t have the DRIVE, we didn’t try. Maybe we didn’t want to do that. Maybe we didn’t know what we wanted to do. That’s probably it.
We didn’t want it badly enough, in any case.
Not everyone who wants it badly enough will become a billionaire. But they will become something.
For an example closer to home. Both you and I worked in the same group a few years ago. The two of us, and one other, were all at the same level. You and I actually had more experience and education than the other person.
The other person, however, has an insane amount of DRIVE. A crazy vision. And that person often FAKES knowing something in front of peers, and then figures it out later.
We both laughed when that person came to work one day wearing a belt buckle bearing the initials of our work group. Everyone laughed at that person. We laughed when that person used to tell everyone how much she knew about everything, we laughed when she quoted every procedure and policy.
That person now runs that group. Say what you will about that person’s lack of interpersonal skills, about how that person is hard to work with and for (something that both Bill Gates and Steve Jobs are known for – they are VERY demanding and unforgiving – they also have incredible DRIVE, and a vision).
I don’t even think that person is particularly intelligent – just average. I think you and I are both smarter than that person.
But. We never had the DRIVE to go where that person is now. Probably because we didn’t want to do that.
So we are where we are, just engineers. And that person is a high profile manager now. I believe that person will be a Vice President one day.
Not because of intelligence, and in spite of just being a fairly average engineer in my opinion, with not very much experience, but by having vision and incredible DRIVE.
You know, at one point in my life, I think I might even have been jealous of that person. I don’t think I am any more. I realize I am where I am because of my choices. I’m not a manager at my company because I don’t want to be one.
I also know now what I want to do. I believe I am more than average. And I believe that if I can’t do something right now, I can fake it long enough – convince people that I can do it – until I figure it out. Or if nothing else, I’ll pay someone who can do it for me.
I agree with your second comment. Buzz can’t fly. But that wasn’t my point.
Fake it, so that other people believe that you can fly. If you have to hide a jet pack under your coat to do it, so be it. That’s my point.
Within reason, I always allude to the fact that I am capable of doing something, even if I have never actually done it before. This gets me very juicy assignments at work. (Well, as juicy as government assignments get). I then have to challenge myself to live up to the expectations I set. A great motivator! Of course, you do have to back up the talk with the walk, or people won’t buy into your allusions in the first place.
Urban Panther’s last blog post..Who is the Panther anyway?
Urban Panther,
Exactly! The way to make this work, is to have (hopefully) some confidence that you will be able to figure it out – tell everyone you can do it, then figure it out and do it.
Most people don’t lack the brilliant ideas or the talent to make their dreams become a reality. They just lack the guts. A lot of folks aren’t confortable with taking risks and the definition of acceptable risks varies greatly from one person to another! And, although we shouldn’t not focus too much on it but, luck and being at the right place at the right time with the right knowledge also plays a big part in our dreams. Would young Bill Gates or Steve Jobs be able to pull it off again in today’s market? I wonder….
Urbane Lion’s last blog post..The Naked Lion
@Lion,
You are right, there is luck involved for sure, and Bill or Steve might not be able to do that in today’s market – but they might have been able to start up something, perhaps.
It takes a blend of everything – ideas, talent, dreams – then guts – and a bit of luck. You need all of them.
The bottom line is, if you sit around waiting for your ship to come in, you’d might as well buy lottery tickets…
@Brett
You’re right…I don’t have the DRIVE to a achieve senior management position. If I did, I’d put a bullet in my head.
I actually was offered a senior supervisory position a few years back (with fast-track to management). I turned it down…and I.don’t regret it one bit.
As for people faking their way into the corporate stratosphere….You can fake it..but only so much.
Having a senior position and lucrative salary is only one part of the equation.
But what if your staff fears and/or hates you. If you get into yelling matches and you’re reduced people to tears. If there’s a steady exodus of people leaving your department. If you’re stressed out and your job interferes with your home life….
Is THAT really succeeding at “faking it” ?
Or is that being on the verge of self-imploding?
(Hypothetically speaking, of course).
Friar’s last blog post..Basil the Special Dog (Update Part II)
Friar,
I think what I meant to say more importantly was that we didn’t *want* to go there. Perhaps had we wanted to, we could have mustered up the drive.
Oh, I remember when you were offered that position. And you made the right move.
And I hear you about your staff not liking you, and so forth. I guess it really depends on that person’s definition of success.
You and I wouldn’t consider that success, and so, we choose not that path. That other person does, though. I’m not saying it is right. But for that person, it is, I guess, and to that person, it is success – faking it all the way.
@Brett
And they’re working in an organization where that behavior IS considered success!!
Oh well (to each his own)
Which really means: I’m right, they’re wrong!
Friar’s last blog post..Basil the Special Dog (Update Part II)
Friar,
I’ll drink to that!
(good one there – “I’m right, they’re wrong!”)
Brett, I think you are so funny.
I believe this has worked for me all my life. If they asked could I do it – without hesitation I would wholeheartedly assure them, OF COURSE, and then panick all the way home. But I learned to connect with others who did have the goods, learned, developed teams, contacts and a life full of new horizons.
Thanks for the “ACT AS IF” reminder!
Harmony’s last blog post..The Eclipse
Brett, there is an old saying in the African American community “Fake it till you make it girl!” (Said with attitude!). I agree with you faking it does not mean “promising something you can never deliver” it is an absolute belief and movement towards who you know you can be! You may not be a best selling author today but unless you believe and act upon that belief you will never achieve it. You believe, you walk as though you already are that person and your actions will keep moving you closer. If Tyler Perry had simply believed he was a dude living in a car he would never be the multimillionaire one man conglomeration he is today. Thank you Brett for sharing the wisdom! CAN, WILL, BELIEVE my kilted wonder friend!
I like your opinion on this, Brett. I do agree that acceptance of reality is important, because we must first accept what is real in order to change it. Yes, Buzz was just a toy, just a story, but aren’t we all just little things in the big picture? And little people do incredible things all the time. We’re all just little people, the way I see it. Bill Gates? Little guy, big plans and big follow-through. And resources, as you say. Great post, my friend. (Kiss the blondies.)
Amy’s last blog post..Controversy: the Always Hot Topic for Freelance Writers/Bloggers?
Oh, Brett.
I’m reading this, and tears of gratitude are pouring down on my quivering chins.
Bless you, Brett.
(bless you).
Faking it has really worked for me in the past – especially so far as size goes Brett. A lot of companies pretend to be bigger than they are in order to get big contracts. So long as you know how much you can take on and that you’ll be able to get your hands on the resources to cope, it really does work.
Cath Lawson’s last blog post..Don’t Be Like The Women On The Titanic
@Harmony,
I’ll have to tell my wife that!
Seriously though, thank you – and it’s nice to see that this works for someone else also.
Dave Navarro had suggested calling it “role playing”, and “act as if” is a great way to look at it too.
@Karen,
Thank you very much, my friend – and thanks for pointing out Tyler Perry, a perfect example of this – showing what can be done.
Because you are right – we may not be what we want to be yet (e.g. a best selling author) – but if we can’t believe in it, and then act on it, we will stay right where we are now.
Yes – can, will and believe!
@Amy,
I like that, because it is true. We are all little people, all part of something much bigger. We all have a role to play, and within each of us is the potential to change the world.
Cook says “hi lady!”
@Oprah Mom,
Somehow I knew you’d be here.
@Cath,
That is definitely true. I worked for a gentleman years ago who was quite clever that way. His apartment building was also called “The Americana Building” and so his business cards had as the address:
Suite 208
The Americana Building
Street etc.
Very clever. Until someone wanted to come and see his office…
[...] fault and James’s fault and their round robin Blog discussion of Buzz Lightyear which lead to Faking It which lead to comments from Steph about perfectionism on her blog In Other Words in the comment [...]
Help! I think I need lessons in faking it! I’ve always heard “fake it until you make it,” but the way I do things is more like “make it so you don’t have to fake it.” Maybe that’s why I sometimes struggle with fiction writing. Hmm. I need to practice lying.
Melissa Donovan’s last blog post..Work Your Jaws
@Melissa, faking it is not lying (not in this application) it is believing that you already are who you want to be today.
@Melissa – or knowing/believing that you can, although you never have before.
Lodewijk’s last blog post..Productivity Secrets
@Melissa,
If you are “making it so you don’t have to fake it”, then keep on doing that!!!
When you become known as a person who can make things happen, nobody even thinks about whether or not you’ve done it before.
Excellent counterpart to James’ post. And yup, Buzz demonstrated resourcefulness for lack of resources.
Michael Martine’s last blog post..My Newest Ebook – How to Start a Business Website and Hire a Web Designer
To successfully fake it, you have to be confident that you can fake it! A funny comparison for you. I like to Country Line Dance, I wasn’t born knowing all the steps but that didn’t stop me from getting out on the floor and learning on the fly. If I didn’t know a step, I’d fake it to make it look like I did, or make it my own special step! It seems so easy to do it on the dance floor, it’s not always easy to do it in life, but if you can convince yourself you can do it, the opportunities are endless!
Jenny’s last blog post..Say What You Need To
Jenny,
That’s true – so maybe you have to fake that you can fake it
because most people are too polite to say anything!
I’ve done that a few times to test drive nice cars (I like to do that, sometimes). Put on a nice suit and tie, clean up the car (I have a pretty good car anyway), get out my business cards, and go visit the BMW dealership!
Works every time…
[...] Can’t Fly Without Wings? Fake it. [...]
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