eyes.
September 13, 2008
Hundreds of eyes were locked on him.
Mere seconds had passed since the man threw his chair through the window, and stepped out, Viking axe in hand, to face the unknown.
And they could smell him. They could smell his brains…
Though they were slow, the undead legions would close in on him were he foolish enough to stay exposed.
The man, however, was no fool. He had worked at the Factory for nearly a decade, and boredom had given him an intimate knowledge of the geography.
With one fearsome chop, his Viking axe sang the funeral dirge for the solitary corpse standing between him and the interior parking lot.
Salvation, camouflage, cover, row upon row of cars and trucks. And no brain-sucking necro-bastards…
(I mean, no one would be out in the parking lot at coffee time!)
He would not have much time. Though unseen, they could smell him. And they were moving ever closer.
A side note, for those unfamiliar with zombies – their strength lies in numbers of course, and in the assumption that their prey is insanely stupid enough to allow themselves to be surrounded.
They do not attempt to flank, or ambush, their victims. They only move straight ahead.
Fail. Man 1, zombies 0.
The man had studied mathematics for many years, and moved in a tangential fashion away from the undead ones, through the parking lot, up along a ridge, finally popping out at the back of his faithful’s office building.
He scaled the back wall like a tormented animal – not difficult, considering that most of the buildings at the Factory were in a sad state of disrepair, with many impromptu hand and footholds – and smashed through the window, careening off a table and just missing the evil coffee pot!
He greeted his lovely wife.
“Hello, my darling – now what?”
His mind raced. Time stood still. How would they escape to warn the outside world? Though their car was just outside in the parking lot, there were other problems.
Serious problems.
You see, Factory security guards drink a lot of coffee.
And they also carry automatic weapons…
Zombies with machine guns!
(Sounds like a Plasmatics album…)
Escape was not an option. The only logical choice was to get to “the bunker” – a room used during site-wide emergencies as a command and control centre.
Within the bunker, a radio. Dozens of networked computers, with displays for cameras all around the site.
And…
Vault-like fire doors, that could be barred from inside. Food. Filtered air. Emergency power.
Yes.
The man’s mind frantically calculated the odds of survival for multiple pathways to the bunker, when suddenly, calmly, his wife provided the solution.
For you see, she was smarter than he – and just as bored, she absorbed all things while she toiled at the Factory.
“There is a passageway through the catacombs of this building, to the bunker. And I have the key.”
The man smiled, then said, “But how are we to get past our ‘friends and colleagues’ outside your office door, and then to the stairs?”
“Simple”, she replied, “As I waited for you, I was examining the pot of coffee – as I moved it, the eyes outside my window followed it.”
“You, my darling, are a genius. You throw the pot, and I’ll cut down anything in our path that isn’t chasing the Folgers…”
Steady, steady…
“On three”, said the man.
Hand on the door, she smiled, and said, “Three!”
–
Will our heroes be able to radio for help? And will help arrive in time? Will they uncover those responsible for this nefarious plot?
Tune in next week to find out!
Oh, I DO hope they escape…!!!
What about the kids, though?
The suspense is killing me….:-D
Friar’s last blog post..Life According to Archie Comics
Friar,
They might need some help from one of their colleagues… someone who shares a pint by the bonfire…
AWesome!! In such a short time and with few words, you managed to convey a fantastic and very clear relationship between the man and his wife. “Hello, my darling, now what?” I love it!
I can’t wait for more!
(Funny, we just watched three zombie movies, the Resident Evil ones over the last week!)
Will your zombies become faster, stronger, and more fierce by way of nuclear leak?
steph’s last blog post..Thoughts on a Friday Afternoon
My favorite thing about this was actually the random link to Folgers! (I know that sounds weird, and in case you’re wondering: it’s a compliment, a good thing).
Michael Martine’s last blog post..If You Have a Second, I’d Like Your Help
“….his Viking axe sang the funeral dirge for the solitary corpse…”
A musical, Viking death-axe.
Does it get any better than THAT?
Friar’s last blog post..Life According to Archie Comics
@steph,
Thank you! More to follow… we’ll see how it goes (this is fun, so I’m not sure I want to limit it to only a few episodes!)
Zombie movies are great, aren’t they – and, there is of course a chance that some “enhanced nasties” may make their way towards the bunker… what fun would it be if we didn’t tie-in the almighty atom!
@Michael,
Thank you, my friend – that’s one of the things I enjoy about writing here, I can let my crazy thought patterns out
@Friar,
And you just know it’s playing some crazy Viking metal (hence the dual meaning of the word “axe”)
Required linkage to YouTube:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C2PCPZ_sCDo&feature=related
(just a “making of” sadly, but the video will be out soon…)
Brett,
This is totally OT, but guess who’s the owner of her first Mac? A lovely little 15” screen, GForce 8600 Macbook pro…
That’s right: It’s me!
And I’ll have to admit, Macs blow Windows machines out of the water. I think I’m in love.
RL David’s last blog post..Meditation for Monday: Humility
RL,
No worries about being OT – computers are one of the best tools for killin’ zombies
Congrats to you and enjoy! If you’re looking for something just let me know (though you’re a pretty smart cookie and you’ll figure it out on your own…)
Thanks, friend, for the lesson on zombies. I always learn something interesting here.
(Where do you find these photos? LOL)
Kiss the blondies for me.
Amy Derby’s last blog post..Hey Look! It’s Saturday! (and I got a present)
@Amy,
Always willing to help out a friend, and you never know when knowledge like this could save your life! Like, if you ever find yourself being chased by zombies…
As always Google is your friend for pictures – though it helps to have a really twisted mind. I’m not sure zombies would want to eat my brains, it might mess them up for good!
Blondies are right here beside me, playing. Come here, blondies *kiss* there we go!
Brett,
Brilliant. Yes, I was worried for the kiddies, yes, I nearly died laughing at the Folgers link (imagine what they’d think!), but the best was the aside for those unfamiliar with zombies. ROFLOL!
RLD,
Hooray! Another MacAddict! Congratulations!
Regards,
Kelly
Kelly’s last blog post..Tip of the Week: SIMPLIFY, Simplify, simplify
@Kelly,
I was kind of wondering that myself, there must be someone at Folgers reviewing the logs. It was probably a “wha?” moment…
“The best part of waking up, is zombies in your cup…”
Brett,
I was thinking, are they progressive enough to be watching things like this? Possibly not….
Ooh, more for the musical! Nice!
LOL again.
Until later,
Kelly
Kelly’s last blog post..Tip of the Week: SIMPLIFY, Simplify, simplify
Kelly,
You’re probably right, you know… they’ve still got to figure out how to make coffee I like first
Folgers?! Dear sweet heavens, no wonder they have all be zombified! They’ve been slowly poisoned over the years!
Urban Panther’s last blog post..Food, friends, and life lessons
@Panther,
I know… I’ve been telling them, but they just won’t listen. It goes something like this, “Espresso? Whuzzat?”
I give up…
Brett, this is an excellent story. I am on the edge of my seat. What happens, what happens, what happens? Do they make it to the bunker? Oh my gosh, I anxiously await the next episode!
Karen
Brett,
an excellent story! I am looking forward to reading the next episode!
Ulla Hennig’s last blog post..In the Neighbourhood
@Karen,
Thank you very much, Wonder Woman! You never know, you might even have a starring role in the next episode…
@Ulla,
Thank you for saying that – as long as everyone enjoys, I’ll keep writing! Heck, I’ll keep writing even if no one does!
Keep writing my kilted wonder friend, I am loving it! I’m rooting for our heroes. This is much better than the TV series Lost!
@Karen,
Well thank you! I’ll try not to “lose” anybody like Lost seems to do…
Zombi-rific Brett.
Though I can’t bring myself to say it’s better than Lost. I friggin’ *love* Lost (it’s up there with the X-Files). So uh, how about Heroes? I don’t watch Heroes. So yeah…it’s better than Heroes! Woo hoo!
Karen JL’s last blog post..Back to School Wisdom and A Few Labeling Tips
@Karen JL,
Thank you – you don’t have to say this is better than Lost (you’d make my wife laugh anyway, being a big Lost fan and all)
Woo-hoo, I’m better than Heroes! (I’ve never seen that either, so I can assume we’re right…)
Brett,
You had me with “sounds like a Plasmatics album.:
We need more, more, more!
Vince,
Less, less, less. You need to check your email and get on the dime!
Schizophrenia is NOT fun.
Rita
Rita’s last blog post..Prologue: Katherine Responds to Katie’s Phone Call/Harold Responds to the News
Rita,
Somebody who knows! W.O.W. forever
Yes, more Vince is forthcoming as per my email (and thank you for your understanding)…
[...] eyes in the adjacent room were on the shattered carafe, or more precisely, the contents. And as the [...]
Oh I so needed this today! We are training for new software and it seems like everyone is turning into those zombies, luckily my specific area of the office won’t have to use the new stuff so we are safe, for now…..
Jenny’s last blog post..Don’t Laugh At…
It sounds a bit like our place, sometimes… for a high-tech sector we seem decidedly low-tech. But we’ve got two strikes against us, the software is often poor, and the training is always poor…