john who?
October 19, 2008
…down the ladder into the SUMAC building they went, so fast they barely touched the rungs, for they knew they would not have much time. Surely the Demon Queen knew that the antenna array had been disabled, and she would be vectoring in the cyberzombie guards to figure out what was going on.
The Viking Lass checked her shotgun to make sure it was filled to capacity. Schmiar’s hands gripped the chainsaw, ready to ignite the screaming motor at the first sign of undead scum. And the Man – well, his Viking Axe was getting hungry again.
The trio moved quickly and silenty towards the rear shipping area of the SUMAC facility, ignoring the warning signs that required them to obtain permission from the facility manager prior to moving through the various areas.
“He’s probably a mindless brainsucker by now,” laughed the Man, “because he always did have a coffee problem…”
“Okay, people, on three, we go out the back and straight across to the OSV building, then south along the left side of the roadway, and in through the north door of the Cell – they’ll never expect us to come in that way…”
Schmiar laughed maniacally, and the Lady said, “Three!”
The “trinamic” trio (a dynamic duo plus one!) covered the quarter mile in less than three minutes, in spite of staying low to avoid detection by the many cameras that were searching for them.
The man could not believe how many signs were plastered around the site, and now that the antenna array was gone, no sunglasses were required to see them.
Signs that said…
“Obey”
“Use more non-renewable resources”
“Consume”
“Watch TV”
“Sleep”
“Reproduce”
…and the list went on, seeming an almost endless stream of subliminal programming.
Schmiar said, “Right about now, all around the world, people must be waking up next to some *really* ugly monsters…”
Said the Lady, “Hopefully they’re not afraid to use a shotgun!”
Steeling their nerves, they stacked up next to the back door of the Cell.
Simultaneously, they shouted, “THREE!”, as Schmiar’s mighty boot shattered the door into toothpicks.
“Party’s over…”, said the Man, as the braindead minions looked up in horror.
(***WARNING*** the above video link is not for the squeamish – YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED! Interestingly enough, this is a clip from one of Peter Jackson’s early films, Braindead. Yes, *the* Peter Jackson…)
What happened next defied description, but at the end of it all, the Demon Queen and her minions were splattered hither and yon around the room, on the floor, on the walls, hanging from the pipes…
“Now what?” asked the Viking Lass.
“Let’s get to my car,” said the Man, “and we’ll make our way to Galt’s Gulch to round up some reinforcements… we’ve got a lot of work to do, these scumbags are everywhere, and we’re going to need some help…”
Freed from the Demon Queen’s mind control, the cyberzombie guards stood motionless as the trio moved quickly past them, got into the car, and drove off into the future…
–
Thank you for reading along with me – so ends the tale of cyberzombie horror at the Factory. But just to keep you in the loop, I have working on some Fight Club themed fiction in the background, and I will be sharing that in this space shortly.
Stay tuned…
I LOVED it!! I’m amazed at how you’re able to pick it up again and get back into it, even by just reading the previous section. It seems one seamless story.
The Trinamic Duo: Awesome!!
I could see that going somewhere…
Really looking forward to your Fight Club fiction, Brett! your stories are highly entertaining!
PS. Since I just awoke and am still rather groggy and headachey, I think I’ll skip the video for a few hours.
steph’s last blog post..Because Friar Asked
@steph,
Thank you! I might try linking them all together some time just to see how it flows. It was kind of fun writing in episodes. I too and excited about the Fight Club thing, as it seems all too relevant these days
Oh yes, I’d recommend *not* watching that video first thing in the morning… it’s still hard to believe it is a Peter Jackson movie! I think he wrote the screenplay, directed it, and he was even one of the actors in the movie. Hey, we all have to start somewhere!
I found it by accident when looking at a “top 10 zombie movie” blog post a few weeks ago, while searching for zombie pictures for my stories!
But what of the SUMAC project?
WHAT OF THE SUMAC PROJECT?
Friar’s last blog post..Six Habits out of Seven Ain’t Bad.
@Friar,
Never mind the SUMAC, what about the OSV, the NQG, and the XTT project?
Also, dont’ forget the Double-Secret Probabation FU-BAR Complex.
Friar’s last blog post..Six Habits out of Seven Ain’t Bad.
Friar, Friar, Friar…
The first rule of “Double-Secret Probabation FU-BAR Complex” is, “do not talk about Double-Secret Probabation FU-BAR Complex”.
The second rule of “Double-Secret Probabation FU-BAR Complex” is, “do not talk about Double-Secret Probabation FU-BAR Complex”.
The third rule of “Double-Secret Probabation FU-BAR Complex” is, if this is your first time to Double-Secret Probabation FU-BAR Complex, you have to fight.
BIG GRIN.
I love how you guys play off each other.
steph’s last blog post..Because Friar Asked
Skipping the violent video, but loved the whole story! Box it up and turn it into an e-book that can be downloaded for a few bucks. It’s sellable, or give it away to bring in more viewers. It’s really good. Lot’s of fun for Halloween time.
Wendi Kelly’s last blog post..Speaking From the Heart
@Brett
Fight. Yes.
Viking Warriors….Beyond SUMANC-Dome…!!!
“Two men enter….one man leaves”
Friar’s last blog post..Six Habits out of Seven Ain’t Bad.
@steph,
If you worked here, you could be part of the “trinamic” trio
maybe Friar & I have a future in corporate stand-up or something – The Office has nothing on us…
@Wendi,
I’m glad you liked the story, and I may just do that (perhaps a freebie with a “buy me a pint” button!)
@Friar,
Is Tina Turner going to do the soundtrack?
@Brett
I dunno….Tina’s not much of a Viking, is she?
Vikings aren’t exactly Mo-Town.
@Brett and Steph
Steph could be the Flaming Wizard, or the Super-Scribe, or something like that.
Friar’s last blog post..Six Habits out of Seven Ain’t Bad.
@Friar,
Yeah, but she did look pretty bad-ass in Thunderdome…
@Brett
Yeah…she was a pretty hot 50 year old in that movie.
But..umm…wasn’t that something like 45 years ago? How old is she NOW?
She’s probably gone from Rollin’ on the River to Quakin’ in her Depends.
Friar’s last blog post..Six Habits out of Seven Ain’t Bad.
My personal opinion is that Brett is the King of the Zombies and that he is implanting subliminal messages into his blog making in effect all of those who read it, his army.
Now I’m not saying that is a bad thing. What I am saying is that I want to be second in command, or at least his Aide-du-Campe.
Francis
http://www.theglobeandmail.com/servlet/story/RTGAM.20081017.wzombiegallery1017/PhotoGallery01?
Francis Kopke’s last blog post..27 seconds
Awesome ending to an interesting story! I can’t wait for another one sometime down the road, maybe the continuing adventures of the Trinamic Trio!!
Jenny’s last blog post..Moments
@Friar,
Why, she’s 29 again
@Jenny,
Thank you! Well, you never know, there might be the odd zombie story once in a while (Halloween/Samhain is coming, you know!)
(@Francis – *shhhh* the first rule of Zombie Club is, do not talk about Zombie Club… we’ve almost got them reeled in, don’t scare them away…)
Brett,
When I stop laughing I’ll tell you what I have to say…(count to 100)
OK. Here goes: Isn’t the “warning” supposed to come BEFORE the video clip, and not AFTER?
And the “double-secret probation” comments…..TOGA! TOGA! TOGA!
Well done!
Rita
Rita’s last blog post..Average Children, Mean Parents
Rita,
Now you have an idea of how silly my brain is… I’d be the kind of person to put a warning inside of a box that says, “DO NOT OPEN BOX”…
(and thanks!)
Brett,
Thank you for the warning, squeamish is my middle name.
My favorite part was the sign that said “Reproduce.” Clearly, it works on some at the factory and not others! ROFL!
I’m so glad the you didn’t feel the need to kill off any of the trinamic trio. If a sequel ever does show up, you won’t have to resurrect Schmiar as his evil twin Schliar.
Thus ends the most interesting sideline at any blog, ever. Way to go off-topic—all the way!
Regards,
Kelly
Kelly’s last blog post..Should You Stickle in a Recession?
Kelly,
No worries – some folks would get a kick out of the video, some would lose their lunch
Heh heh, if you watch the movie They Live you can see all of those signs… very neat John Carpenter movie. And Reproduce certainly did work in our case!
Oh, you never know when the trinamic trio might return… like Halloween, perhaps. Meanwhile, if you liked this, I will have a new fiction project coming soon… stay tuned…
Brett,
I lose my lunch over commercials for things other people consider tame. Heck, I leave the room if I know there’s gonna be a commercial for something I might lose my lunch over, and I still have nightmares. Squeamish people are embarrassed to be seen with me.
I’ve been told it’s cute and innocent for a raw old broad like me, and I’m going with that.
^^
. .
^
o
Later,
Kelly
Kelly’s last blog post..Mirror, Mirror, Who the Heck Is That?
Kelly,
I’m glad then that you didn’t lose your lunch – though you may be cute and innocent, you’re not old (hey, we’re both not old, right? Right?)
LOL. Nobody’s cute when losing their lunch.
Young. Young.
I think I am I think I am I think I am I know I am…
Chug, chug.
Kelly’s last blog post..Inspiration Points: Einstein’s Formula for Success? Y Is Play
Hey, it sounds like you’re “training” for something
(thank you, thank you, I’ll be here all week!)
@Kelly
Chug, chug.
I do that.
With beer.
Often with Brett.
Friar’s last blog post..Perfesser Friar’s Favorite Science Facts.
Brett—”Training”! Eek! They can’t all be gems…
Friar—diet Coke. 25x daily. Keeps that youthful waistline… or at least the hope of it… alive…
Kelly’s last blog post..Inspiration Points: Einstein’s Formula for Success? Y Is Play
@Kelly
Diet Coke…UGGHHH!!
Kryptonite is to Superman, as Aspartame is to the Friar. I can’t STAND IT.
(I’d rather drink plutonium waste!)
Knowing where I work, I probably do!
Friar’s last blog post..Things About the Workplace I Don’t Wanna Understand
LOL. Not trying to retain your girlish figure, eh? Works for me: dC chug25. <–That’s chug to the 25th power.
Kelly’s last blog post..Inspiration Points: Einstein’s Formula for Success? Y Is Play
Kelly
Okay..let’s get one thing straight. The Friar DOES NOT have a girlish figure!!! And neither is he trying to get one!!!
I dont’ do diet stuff. With me, it’s all or nothing.
I’d rather drink 24 glasses of water, and enjoy that one glass of REAL Coke. Than to constantly suffer through 25 glasses of Fake Pop.
Same thing goes with pizza, ice cream, burgers. I don’t do “Lo-Fat”. I do without for a while, and then save it for the real thing.
(Besides, Nutrasweet makes me want to paw my mouth, like a sad dog that ate something awful-tasting!)
Friar’s last blog post..Things About the Workplace I Don’t Wanna Understand
There should be an “anti-diet” pop.
Jolt isn’t good enough.
I call it NUKE.
NUKE has 1 gram of caffeine in it – enough to reduce anyone to a trembling mass.
NUKE also has 3 times your daily caloric requirements, by way of transfats and high fructose corn syrup.
NUKE may cause mutations in small animals and children.
Hahahaa,
Brett,
I swear, My oldest son would drink it. I think he is keeping Jolt in Business. And no….Friar…I have never pictured you as the diet pepsi guy.
Sitting out there on the fishing boat with your little blue can of diet pepsi…um…no.
not so much.
Wendi Kelly’s last blog post..Teeter-Totter Tribulations
@Brett
Would there be a way to deep-fry Nuke?
At least, it should be Super-Sized.
@Wendi
In my recollection, a can of Diet Pepsi has NEVER been in my canoe. EVER.
Friar’s last blog post..Things About the Workplace I Don’t Wanna Understand
@Friar,
There is only one size, MEGA-MONDO, and of course it is deep fried!
Hey everybody! Its Brett’s birthday today!!!
Happy Birthday you old bugger!
I can call Brett a bugger, I asked first. And he said yes…. the bugger.
Hah! I said it twice!
Francis
Francis Kopke’s last blog post..27 seconds
Yo Francis, ye bloody barstard
thanks for the birthday greets… yes, it’s true, today is my birthday, 29 again for 10 years in a row.
(Err, I’ll officially add one more candle at 4:14 pm)
Tis a good day, lots of friends have said hello, my mother-in-law sang Happy Birthday on the phone and my mom called and said “Happy Birthday to my baby”.
(Thanks mom *sniff, sniff*)
YAY! I was waiting for you to join me! Misery loves company!
Congratulations, Brett!
……
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—–
___
(My best attempt at a layer cake emoticon.)
Kelly’s last blog post..Inspiration Points: Einstein’s Formula for Success? Y Is Play
Holy shit..Brett
HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Friar’s last blog post..Things About the Workplace I Don’t Wanna Understand
@Kelly,
Thank you (the cake emoticon was priceless!) – together we are 78.
@Friar,
Thanks brother. I’m now 39 years and 8 minutes old… heh heh does that mean I have to drink 39 pints at your house tonight? yeesh…
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU
HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAR VIKING
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU
*throws confetti*
Amy Derby’s last blog post..Sucking the Suck Out of Corporate Presentations (or, Conversations With Monkeys)
Oh Brett. (Sob)
Thank you for sharing your birthday with us.
You have NO IDEA how much this means to me. You’ve made my day (no…you’ve made my WEEK)
Life is precious, and we must cherish each moment, as if it’s our last.
You inspire us, and I hope you’re around for 39 more years.
(Sniff). Waaaaah!!! (Getting the Kleenex now!)
@Amy,
Thank you
I love confetti…
@Oprah-Mom,
Well, thank *you* Oprah-Mom
I hope that you give me a book deal LOL