viking fridays – a story of give and take.

Guest post by Jack.

Hello.  My name is Jack.  I work at The Factory.

Today, I am going to tell you a story of give and take.  The story doesn’t involve any Vikings, but it is Friday, so I had to call it something, right?

First, let me tell you a couple of things about me.

I get shit done.  My thoughts are very non-linear, probably bordering on insanity.  I work in bursts, and when I am working, I am extremely effective and efficient.  In between bursts, I tend to take breaks where I will do something completely different.

So, I might work on a task for an hour, and then read about some new computer technology that will help me do my job even better.  Or I might work on my blog – have you heard of it?  It is called Project Mayhem.  Perhaps I might even stop by your blog and say hello, talk about 20-foot tall inflatable gorillas, and so on.

I know I probably shouldn’t do that, but I figure it is give and take.  Give me some leeway to dick around a bit, and I will answer phone calls and do work after hours and on the weekend – free of charge, I might add.

Anyway, like I said, I get shit done.  I get more shit done by 9:00 am than most people can do in two days.  I believe in ROWE – Results Only Work Environment.

The Factory, however, is stuck in the 1950’s – they are a TOWE, or a Time Only Work Environment.  Thus, they don’t really care if you are effective and efficient – they just want to know that you are working *only* on *their* stuff, 8 hours a day.

If you get your shit done by noon, they don’t want you to take the afternoon off to be with your kids.  Fuck no, they want you to find something else to do, because everything has to be done yesterday.  Holy shit, we can’t have happy, well rested employees now, can we?  We don’t pay you for what you get done, we pay you for how many hours you push The Wheel of Pain.

The old boys say The Factory used to be a great place to work, and they even bought you a lobstah once in a while.

But not now.

They won’t even give you coffee at meetings.

Whiskey Tango Foxtrot, the place where I get the oil changed on my car gives you free cappuccino and croissants while you wait.

Right now, you’re probably thinking, “Jack, get to the fucking point.”

Okay, like I said, this is a story of give and take.

Yesterday we got a new internet filter at The Factory.

We can’t afford to fix the fucking stairs, but we got a new internet filter.

I am Jack’s complete lack of surprise.

Priorities, you see.

Somebody, somewhere gets to tick a little box beside a list that says:

1. Install new internet filter
2. ???
3. Profit!

Congratulations, morale-killer.

Here’s where I get to the punchline.

I have given freely of my time in the evenings and on weekends, and missed time with my family.

You have taken away flexibility that helped me to do my job better and made it somewhat tolerable.

Unfortunately, in spite of Tyler’s best efforts, I cannot access my blog anymore nor the blogs of some of my friends, or anything to do with Google (so, Docs, Gmail etc.), or any social networking during business hours.

I am Jack’s inflamed sense of rejection.

This means I won’t be able to talk to you anymore during the day, so I must apologize – it is nothing personal.  I’ll still talk to you at night, and on weekends.

That’s okay though.  As Tyler says, you’re not your fucking job.  And like I said, I get shit done.  And just think of all the shit I’m going to get done by completely ignoring work, when I’m not at work.

What’s that?

I’m sorry.  My cell phone doesn’t ring after the end of business hours anymore, and oh, the firewall on my home network won’t allow connections to the VPN anymore.  It must be a problem with my ISP.

One more thing.  There’s a new rule of Fight Club.

Do not talk about The Factory, until you no longer work at The Factory.

Which won’t be long, because when I put my mind to something 100 percent, I get shit done.

I am Jack’s smirking revenge.

Up until now, I’ve just been fucking around.

viking fridays – turn the spell.

I know a sixth
It will save me if a man
Cut runes on a sapling’ s Roots
With intent to harm
It turns the spell
The hater is harmed, not me.
- The sixth charm, from The Hávamál

I am not sure why, but today I feel invincible.  I don’t know, it isn’t like this week was any more special than any other week (in many ways, news at work was less than positive, to be honest), but for one thing.

I seem to have great clarity of thought, and my focus is very sharp indeed.

I know what I have to do – some things will be put by the wayside, to leave more time for what is truly important.  It is in my hands.

Perhaps that is it then – I feel as though no one can harm me.

No one can break my conviction.

So my message today is not profound or deep – I merely want to pass this vibe on to you, so that you, too, will not be harmed.

If any try to harm you, the spell shall be turned back upon them.

There is nothing you can’t do.

I wear a charm much like this one, and when I do, I feel unstoppable.  I pass that on to you.

With this hammer – Mjollnir – you can level mountains.

You are unstoppable, and no one can harm you.

a perfect storm.

Something happened yesterday south of the 49th parallel.

But this isn’t really going to be a political piece, because in my opinion, I’m not informed enough to comment on it from that perspective.

A lot has happened in the last decade or so, but that is behind everyone – the past cannot be changed, though we can learn from it.  But I won’t talk about the politics, who was right, who was wrong.

No.

Instead, I’ll talk about what I do know.

A perfect storm.

That’s what I see, but in a good way.

Economic crisis?  Opportunity to move in the opposite direction, if you have the courage.

And a new man at the helm.

So carpe diem, and give him a hand.

Pitch in, he needs your help.

He can’t do it alone.  His team can’t do it alone.

Whatever you do, don’t lose the fire.

Don’t be distracted by Dancing With The Stars or Survivor or whatever.

People have been clamoring for change, and now the opportunity is here.

New blood, and a readjustment of “the system” that was long overdue.

Carpe diem.

Everything’s come together, the ingredients for change – go forth and do good work, create true value.  Turn off the TV, get the hell off the computer (unless you’re using it for change, in which case, carry on), go outside into your neighbourhood.

Extend your hand to someone.

As I said, this isn’t meant to be political.

Yesterday is today is anyday, for everyman and everywoman.

Seize the day, and change things for the better, for today, for your future.

Together.

–

Picture: Barack Obama’s speech in words, from The Globe and Mail.

(For the “can and will” gang, notice some of the biggest words… Can.  Will.  Nation.  Us.)

viking mondays? courage.

What’s this about Viking Mondays?  Well, you know what they say about best laid plans.

Who are they anyway, the they in “they”?  Probably best not to know.

The positive way of looking at a late Viking Fridays post is that you’ll get TWO of them this week.

Anyway…

I thought I’d share a quote to start off, a quote from a pretty smart guy.

Any intelligent fool can make things bigger and more complex… It takes a touch of genius – and a lot of courage to move in the opposite direction.

Who said this, why, none other than Albert Einstein!

And what the heck does this have to do with the Friartoon at the top of this post?

I think snowmen (snowpeople?) are cool – bad joke – but really, they are fun to build and nice to look at.  They also tend to start melting pretty much right away and so you have to keep adding snow to them if you want them to stay intact.

And of course, you have to build a new one each winter because of good old Mr. Summer.

Maybe you know someone trying to start a business or do something new.  The question to ask might be, “is it working, or are you just constantly rebuilding a snowman every winter?  Did you leave your slave cube, only to build up the same walls in your home office?”

There’s a good chance that a lot of people have complicated things to the point that they should consider chopping the snowman in two and going off to find another way – a simpler way.

Two things got me thinking about this.

First, an interview with Cory Doctorow on Writing in the Age of Distraction.  Cory is a published author, and right here in his interview he tells you a bit about how he writes.

He doesn’t spend endless hours pounding away at his keyboard – nope, maybe 20 minutes a day (say, a page or two).  He doesn’t use a fancy program to do it, just a plain text editor.  And he doesn’t starve himself of information by locking out the internet (except when he’s writing, of course).

He ends up with more than enough material for a book each year this way – do the math.

A lot of the folks I’ve met during my blogging adventure are writing books or want to write books.  Here it is, you can do it even if you have a full-time job.  Very simple – just a few minutes a day.

Perhaps we won’t all be as successful as Mr. Doctorow – but if we don’t even put in 20 minutes a day, we certainly will not have any chance at all.  So get writing, or painting, or whatever.

We can do it, and we can do it without burning out.  We can still watch TV and play on the internet and write the next bestseller.  It isn’t complicated.

Twenty minutes a day.

Do it with exercise too.  You’ll thank yourself.

My second example is from a different perspective.  I’ll illustrate with another quote.

Genius is one per cent inspiration, ninety-nine per cent perspiration.

Thomas Edison said this – makes sense, right?

Well, yes and no.  Hard work is often rewarded by success.

But what if your idea sucks?  What if no one cares about what you have to sell?  What if all you did was reinvent the wheel?  You left your cube and then tried selling exactly what your old company sells?

If no one needed a lightbulb, Mr. Edison would have been screwed I guess.

So what’s my point here?  Perhaps it is to spend a bit of time thinking about what you’re going to do before you actually do it.  And it goes back to Einstein’s quote.

Keep it simple.  Move in the other direction.

A real-world example to illustrate, from Inc.com.

Markus Frind runs an online dating company called Plenty of Fish.  He only started five years ago, with no experience, no money.  It is the biggest dating site in the USA today.

(Now don’t get any ideas, I wasn’t cruising the dating sites!)

He works about one hour a day, and makes millions.  The web site is very simple and even has distorted pictures that look silly – but who cares?

It works.  The idea is to be simple, which was also different from what everyone else was doing.

He has a blog too – very simple, no custom design or dedicated domain name.  He could easily afford a custom design and hosting service.

But who cares?

It works.  It gets the point across.

Simple.

Again, this example is probably a bit of a special case and this might not work for everyone, but that’s okay – the point is clear.

I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about these two examples anyway.

What could you do with the courage to move the other way, using simple tools and a great idea – a different idea?

Probably a lot more than you could working yourself to death with a mediocre one that already exists, overcomplicating it as you go along.

Your assignment for tonight is to sit down with your favourite drink.  Decide if your current path or idea is a good one, one that you feel good about.  If it is, can you simplify it?

If you don’t like the way things are going, find a new way – a better way – and keep it simple.

Like Apple used to say, think different.

This message will self-destruct on December 21st, 2012.

ultimate self-help tool – free for a limited time!

That’s right folks, starting today I am giving away the ultimate self-help and personal productivity tool, absolutely and positively free, no strings attached.

But ACT FAST! because this is a limited time offer – that’s right!

After December 21st, 2012, the price will go up to 1 billion, gagillion, fafillion, shabolubalu million illion yillion…yen.

Remember that date folks – December 21st, 2012, when the world will either end (thanks to the Mayans!*), or the price will go way, way up.

Believe me, that’s a heckuva lot of yen.

Not even Bill Gates has that much money.

So ACT FAST! or be disappointed.

Anyway, enough snake oil – as The Wolfman says, “TTCB – Time to Take Care of Business.”

The ultimate self-help and personal productivity tool is:

YOU.

I have to remind myself of that often as well, as I sometimes forget.

People already have all of the resources they need.

We can read all the books we want to read, talk to all the gurus, and it’s all great stuff, it really is.

But if we do nothing, then we get nothing in return.

That’s it.

That’s why it is up to YOU.

Why is it true?  Well, let’s ask our good friend Tyler Durden:

It’s only after we’ve lost everything that we’re free to do anything.

And if you ask a person who has lost everything and then rebuilt from scratch, you’ll know it is true.  The only thing that person had to help them was themselves (okay, and maybe some help from family and friends, but technically, that is part of you, in a way).

It doesn’t mean it was easy for them, but then again, what is easy?

Just for fun, I’ll share with you a little something I stumbled across over the holidays.  A little island named Tristan da Cunha, in the south Atlantic Ocean.

About 270 people live there – everyone is a farmer, and most people also have other jobs – because if they don’t do it, no one will.

They didn’t have TV there until 2001.

A ship comes from Cape Town once a month.

These people don’t need an ass-kicking machine like the one in the picture above.

If something needs to be done, they just do it.

And so can YOU.

If you need a little more encouragement, here’s a new blog I discovered not too long ago – Project: Complete.  Food for thought to help you get going.

Now get going, and kick some ass.

But… don’t forget to have fun along the way!

–

(*Just kidding… the idea that the world will end according to the Mayan calendar is considered by scholars to be a misinterpretation.)